Decision made on my mom's treatment

Well after a lot of soul searching and discussion with my grandma we have decided to do some radiation, it will be a day by day decision on whether to continue the next day or not, depending on how she feels. I do not want her to be in any pain. I talked to my mom about it and she seems to understand a little. The Drs. have been giving her a medication to relieve the pressure in her brain from the tumors, and it seems to be helping so far, since she has been receiving it since Wednesday night. I just hope it will not be too hard on her body and I will not regret making this choice.

Today I spent the day at the hospital like I have everyday for the past 3 weeks when she was admitted. I pick up my grandma everyday between 7:30 and 8:00 am and we spend the day together with my mom. I am cherishing every moment I can spend with her, I spend at least 8 hours with her and take my grandma home. I often go back to the hospital for a little more before I go to sleep at night. I hate leaving her alone in the room at the hospital.

Tonight after I left I called the nurse to check on my mom and the nurse told me she tried to get out of bed and fell. I rushed down to check on her, luckily she will just be bruised, but it was a scary thing to hear, it could have been much worse. I asked my mom to please stay in bed, that she is not strong enough to walk or stand and she would keep falling. I hate seeing her loose her self sufficiency, that is one thing that will be hard for her to give up.

sad days

Well I posted the other day that we were told that the cancer has spread to my mom's brain. I saw the MRI photos and it does not look good. My mom has multiple areas of disease in her brain, it is already showing some signs in her memory and motor skills. I have to make a decision to do treatment or not. I will not do anymore chemo because it made her feel so bad. I want to keep my mom in as little pain as possible. The other option is radiation - which I am hesitant to go for. My brother does not want to do any more treatment, although he has had this opinion before we knew of the new spread to the brain. I have a tough decision ahead to make, I need to try and decide by Monday.

I had a meeting with a radiation dr. today, he thinks it is worth a try to go for radiation to extend her quality of life, essentially slow the growth of the tumors so she can retain some of her brain function.

I am so sad. I have never felt this kind of sadness in my life, it's overwhelming. My heart just aches. I love my mom so much and it is hard knowing she will not be around much longer. I just want to wake up from this nightmare and have her healthy and cancer free. I hate cancer, I pray everyday for a cure. I pray that no one else has to endure his horrible disease.

If no more treatment is given they give her 3-6 months to live. Our family is devastated.

Sad

As I posted the other day my mom's condition which landed her in the ICU has improved, which I am very thankful for and blessed to still have my mom around today.

I got some bad news from her Dr. on a C/T test of her brain they did on Friday. She said that it is looking like the cancer has metastasized to her brain. We are still waiting for results on a biopsy from her lungs, I pray that nothing is shown to be in there too. I am going to request an official scan done to see where in her body the cancer may have spread to.

Just when I thought things were looking up for my mom I get news like this. Nothing can ever prepare you to hear the Drs say those words to you.

My mom is my best friend and I cannot imagine my life without her. I guess I always imagined that she and I would grow older together and have a great relationship like her and her mom do. I don't have a father, my mom was my only parent growing up. We have a small family.

I am crushed by this news. I hope that God can give me strength to get through the days that lie ahead.

32 weeks

Here is a new photo from Thursday night:


















According to babycenter.com:

How your baby's growing:

By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds and is about 16.7 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus. You're gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, he'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb. He now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable peach fuzz). His skin is becoming soft and smooth as he plumps up in preparation for birth.

update on my mom

My mom is doing better, the Drs just removed her from the respirator yesterday so she is able to breathe on her own. This is a HUGE step. My mom has been still sleeping a lot, the Drs wanted her to be awake in order to remove the respirator, she finally met that yesterday. Everyday she seems to be more awake and responding more to comands.

She is still in the ICU. I don't think my mom will be released from the hospital for another week at the earliest to several weeks.

The Drs since this all happened do not know what caused this. We are waiting on some results from some tests they have done to see if her cancer spreading had caused this all to happen, I'm praying my heart out that it did not. Some Drs. speculate it may have been the chemo, but it would have been a rare side effect that is not documented.

I am very thankful that my mom is still here, this will be a very special Thanksgiving for our family. She still has a long road to recovery, but we are pleased with much she has recovered, as are the Drs who saw her at her sickest point.

Thank you for all the prayers.

Update on Baby B

I did go to see my OB yesterday. My OB said I've lost a few pounds and my blood pressure was up. They put me on disability for now. I am going to start seeing the Dr. weekly until I have the baby. I am 31 weeks today, I could have Baby B in as early as 6 weeks - which would be full term. My OB said he was in head down position for now and if he turns they will do an aversion to turn him (which does not sound comfortable).

Update on my mom

My mom is still in the hospital they moved her to the Cardiac ICU on Wednesday. She is still on a ventilator - not able to breathe on her own yet. Her lungs have improved a little so they turned down the amount of supported breathing she is getting. But she was to have a chest x-ray today and when they tried to move her off the ventilator the amount of oxygen she was getting dropped too low - means she cannot be off the ventilator yet. The Drs were impressed early today with her improvement then she had this set back this afternoon.

I am worried sick, I have been spending 8-12 hours a day at the hospital by my mom's side. I pray to her and talk to her to try and encourage her strength to get better. The bad part is that she just had chemo a week ago and the chemo is still making her very weak and will continue to have that effect for another week.

I still need prayers for her to recover, I love my mom so much and she is my best friend. I want her around for longer. I have been praying my heart out for her recovery.