Today I went to the hospital to visit Jessica's mom, Annette. I was wanting to go see her since her kids all live in North Carolina now. I called Jessica to verify, she was very thankful for me wanting to visit her mom. Jessica is a RN and has been talking to nurses and Drs about her mom's condition daily - but to have me go see her and tell her my thoughts was reassuring to her.
I walked in to the room and Annette recognized me immediately. I spent about 45 minutes with her talking and seeing how she was feeling, she seemed okay, but a little out of it. I know her kidneys are failing and she is now on a do not resuscitate order as per Jessica's wishes. I told her Jessica sent her love with me. Annette told me she was not ready to go yet. I told her her 2 sons are on the way to visit her - one arriving today and the other tomorrow. I pray that they get to see their mom one last time before she passes. I also pray she has no pain when she passes. She is younger than my mom was when my mom passed. Annette is in her early 50s.
I am sad for Jessica and her brothers, having to go through what I just went through. I hope that I can visit Annette once or twice more to see her before she passes.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
37 weeks - Full Term!
According to Babycenter.com:
Congratulations — your baby is full term! This means that if your baby arrives now, his lungs should be fully mature and ready to adjust to life outside the womb, even though your due date is still three weeks away.
Your baby weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel.
I am feeling uncomfortable and getting swelling more everyday in my feet and ankles. I am happy I did not have a Christmas baby. I did have a photo taken the other day - but I cannot find the cord to download it to my computer, it's missing at the moment.
Congratulations — your baby is full term! This means that if your baby arrives now, his lungs should be fully mature and ready to adjust to life outside the womb, even though your due date is still three weeks away.
Your baby weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel.
I am feeling uncomfortable and getting swelling more everyday in my feet and ankles. I am happy I did not have a Christmas baby. I did have a photo taken the other day - but I cannot find the cord to download it to my computer, it's missing at the moment.
My best friend Jessica
My best friend Jessica - who lives in North Carolina now, is from here and still has family here, her Mom being one of them. Her mom has been in poor health since we met 16 years ago. I got a voice mail from her yesterday to wish me a Merry Christmas, and she also told me her Mom is in the hospital again. Not just in any hospital department, but the ICU.
I just got off the phone with her and her Mom is not doing well, she is having liver and kidney failure and just had a heart attack. On top of this she is on oxygen, not a respirator yet, but getting a lot of oxygen support from a mask. I am worried about her, I pray she does not have to endure the loss of her Mom on top of losing my Mom this month already.
My best friend just flew out to be with me the day after my Mom died and stayed for 5 days with me to help me out. Jessica lived with my Mom and I for a year, and my Mom thought of Jessica as a second daughter.
Luckily she saw her Mom for an entire afternoon when she was here, she has been in a nursing home with broken bones. I am thankful she was able to spend some time with her before this happened.
Jessica is now making the decision to resuscitate her Mom if it is needed. She called to ask my advice, having just done this with my own Mom.
I just got off the phone with her and her Mom is not doing well, she is having liver and kidney failure and just had a heart attack. On top of this she is on oxygen, not a respirator yet, but getting a lot of oxygen support from a mask. I am worried about her, I pray she does not have to endure the loss of her Mom on top of losing my Mom this month already.
My best friend just flew out to be with me the day after my Mom died and stayed for 5 days with me to help me out. Jessica lived with my Mom and I for a year, and my Mom thought of Jessica as a second daughter.
Luckily she saw her Mom for an entire afternoon when she was here, she has been in a nursing home with broken bones. I am thankful she was able to spend some time with her before this happened.
Jessica is now making the decision to resuscitate her Mom if it is needed. She called to ask my advice, having just done this with my own Mom.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Baby Update 36 1/2 weeeks
I went to the Dr. on Monday and the baby is getting ready to come.
She said I am starting to dialate and effacement is nearly complete (80-90%). The Dr. said I would not go to my due date, labor can start anytime now. Th Dr. said if my water breaks or if I have contractions to got to the hospital - not to call them first.
I am hoping to not have a Christmas baby, for his sake - I know holiday b-days are not favorable. I'm hoping he'll wait a few more days, although I am very uncomfortable now.
I'll add a picture later from yesterday.
She said I am starting to dialate and effacement is nearly complete (80-90%). The Dr. said I would not go to my due date, labor can start anytime now. Th Dr. said if my water breaks or if I have contractions to got to the hospital - not to call them first.
I am hoping to not have a Christmas baby, for his sake - I know holiday b-days are not favorable. I'm hoping he'll wait a few more days, although I am very uncomfortable now.
I'll add a picture later from yesterday.
Christmas Day
For the first time I am not spending today with my mom. Even after getting married and moving out with D, I always went to my mom's house to spend Christmas morning with her. I instead am spending the morning with my husband. I am going to go to my in-law's house then to my family's after.
My family got together last night like we always do at my Grandma's house. This year my Aunt and Uncle were here. I know my mom's spirit was with us last night, but I sure missed her presence.
My family got together last night like we always do at my Grandma's house. This year my Aunt and Uncle were here. I know my mom's spirit was with us last night, but I sure missed her presence.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Poem of loss of a mother
WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME
When tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me:
I wish you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too:
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand.
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity.
And all I've promised you.
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times
You did some things
You knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand
And share my life with me?"
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.
When tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me:
I wish you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too:
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand.
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity.
And all I've promised you.
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times
You did some things
You knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand
And share my life with me?"
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.
a poem about loss
I'm Free
Don't grieve for me, now I'm free
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard Him call
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work or play
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I found that place at the close of day.
If my passing has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A freindship shared, a laugh a kiss
Ah yes, these things, I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow.
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I savored much
Good friends, good times,a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief.
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief
Lift up your heart and share with me
God wanted me now. He set me free.
Author unknown.
Don't grieve for me, now I'm free
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard Him call
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work or play
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I found that place at the close of day.
If my passing has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A freindship shared, a laugh a kiss
Ah yes, these things, I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow.
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I savored much
Good friends, good times,a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief.
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief
Lift up your heart and share with me
God wanted me now. He set me free.
Author unknown.
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