Burial & reflections

Yesterday my family buried my mom. We had a large turn out of friends and family at the funeral. I had so many people tell me wonderful things about her. I was unable to speak at the service, but my mom's best friend and my 10 year old niece spoke. It was a hard day for all of us, we had our final chance to say good-bye to her body. I know her spirit left her body a week ago when she passed.

I have had a week to think about her passing. I know my mom is in a better place and not in any pain anymore and even though I miss her with my whole heart. I know it was the best thing for her even if it happened 20 or more years before most people die. I know now I made the right choice in treatments in her last few days of her life. I live with no regrets. She knew how loved she was by our family and her closest friends.

I miss her so much, my heart feels heavy and a piece of it died last week. I lay awake at night thinking about the last 31 years of my life with her and the last month of her life.

I wanted so much for her to be there in person when I deliver and to pass on to me more words of wisdom about being a mother. Her and I had talked about when I was to go on maternity leave we would spend our days together with baby B. I know she will always be in my life and I know she will be there as Brendan's guardian angel.