So I have not posted in a few days, it's been too hard to talk about.
On Monday my mom got radiation and things went okay. I talked to her Radiologist after the treatment and mentioned that my mom had been having back pain. He ordered a MRI of her spine, and we were told my mom has cancer running down the bones that are around her spine. No wonder she has been in so much pain : (
On top of that yesterday the Drs were in talking to us and noticed her breathing was not good, they did a chest x-ray to see if she had an infection, which she does not. The Drs. say she is likely going into respiratory failure again. We had to make a decision on if we wanted to resuscitate her if her respiratory failed again. We decided not to.
As of now my mom was moved to a Oncology room and is receiving morphine to help her pain and keep her comfortable.
I just spend the last 12 hours by her side - heartbroken. I pray she has no pain when she passes. I cannot believe this is happening, we thought she was getting better and going to come home soon to live out the remainder of her life. Today is my grandma's birthday. I told my mom how much I love her and she said it back, at least she knows how much I care about her.
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31 comments:
Oh sweetie...I'm sitting here with tears running down my face. Thank you for posting what must have been a very difficult update. All the good thoughts I have are headed your way.
I'm crying for you & your mom. I'm so sorry...
Steph - I don't have the words to express my condolences. You and your mom have been in my thoughts every day and will continue to be. You know we are here for you - let us know how and when we can help - we're all here for you.
I am thinking of you during this tough time you are going through. May you have the strength to make it through.
I'm so sorry.
-Mrs.BoomBoom
When I saw your blog title I just started to cry. I am so sorry Stephanie. I pray that your mom is in little pain for the remander of her stay here on Earth. I am praying God keeps you strong durring this increadibly painful time and that he is with you. ((((((HUGS)))))))
Stephanie. My heart is just breaking for you. You are such a strong woman and an awsome daughter. Im keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers!! ((hugs))
I'm so sorry. I recently had to make some hard choices with my dad before he passed. I know it is not easy to do and my heart go out to you! I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.
I'm so sorry Steph. I wish there was something I could do or say to help make all of you feel better. You are so strong and I really admire all your courage. God Bless your mom and help her get through this in little pain.
I'll continue to keep you all in my thoughts.
I'm so so sorry Stephanie. Please know we're all here pulling for you, your mom and your family.
I'm so sorry Stephanie, I continue to pray for your mom and family. Wishing you strength and courage.
-Laura (ladipale)
Steph- I am sitting Her Crying my eyes out. I'm so sorry. Just know i'm here for you.
Heather(truelove)
I'm so very sorry, Stephanie. So, so very sorry. My heart goes out to you.
Stephanie - I have no words...
God Stef, I'm so so so sorry. I think about you and your mom every day. I pray for your strength and hers every day. I just want to give you a big big hug right now. You are doing all you can and being the best daughter a mom could wish for. I know it sounds empty but please please let me know if I can do anything to help. Even if you just need your toilet cleaned or refrigerator cleaned out, anything, just call me. If I'm around I'll be there in a snap.
WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU!
HUGS!
Amy
I'm so, so sorry. My heart breaks for you. I'm sending prayers your family's direction that God will send you peace and comfort through this difficult time.
I'm so very sorry Stephanie. Lots of good thoughts to you and your family in this difficult time.
I know no words can express what you are going through.
I am so very very heartbroken for you and your family. I am keeping you in my prayers.
I am so sorry. I continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and pray for strength during this difficult time.
(m&m818)
I am so so sorry to hear about this. I am glad that you are able to spend this time with your mom knows how much you love her. My thoughts are with you and your family.
(murphysmom)
I am so sorry for you and your family right now - I can't even imagine how horrible this is for you all. I'm thinking of you and wishing you only the best during this rough time.
Oh Stephanie, I can't imagine what you're going through right now. Hugs to you and your mom.
Karen (tilden2)
I'm so sorry!!!
I'm so very, very sorry, Stephanie. My heart is breaking after reading your post! I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts. Huge bear hugs to you.
Oh Stephanie, I am soooo sorry. This breaks my heart. I know nothing helps, but I am here for you and you and your family are in my prayers.
I'm so very sorry, Stephanie. I know it's helping your mom worlds to have you there with her as much as possible. I'll pray for comfort for you and your mom during this time.
I'm sorry Stephanie. I'm keeping you and your family in my prayers. -alyssa7
I don't know what else to say. I'm heartbroken for you all. Please know how sorry I am this is happening and how much I am praying for strength for you and your family right now.
*HUGS*
I read through all of your posts and it is so terribly sad. Sorry you and your mom are going through this. My prayers are with you right now.
I'm so sorry Stephanie, your family is in my thoughts.
Hi Stephanie-
I'm a nor cal nestie, and wanted to offer my support. I feel like you are living the life I had 20+ years ago with my mom. Even the timing is the same....
The only advice I can offer:
1. Savor the moments you have together.
2. Let nothing go unsaid
My dear mom chose to die at home. I was her primary care giver and was only 23 when she passed. The week before she passed, we went to the dr. He told us there wasn't more they could do but make her comfortable. He asked her if she wanted to be in the hospital or home. She chose home. The dr asked me to step outside to talke. He told me that she didn't have more than a week left, and to keep her as comfortable as possible.. He told me not to worry about dosages of pain meds, and it hadn't been 4 hrs yet, blah, blah, blah. He said if she needed something, then by all means give it to her. My mom died 10 days before Christmas. This year it will be 24 years, and I still miss her warmth and love...
Hang in there....you will get through this!
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